she looked like the before picture.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize