this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
