I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
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Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We have started to decorate penises.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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