I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize