I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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