Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize