You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize