I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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