As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
