Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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