She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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