I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
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