I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
