32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
