I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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