hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
