that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
