Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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