What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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