where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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