please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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