She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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