on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
never play flip cup with pint glasses
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
