I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
