i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize