I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize