where does the pee come out of this thing
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
