How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
