We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
