After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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