How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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