But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
