So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
