He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
