good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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