oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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