He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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