I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
