im having a threesome with these popsicles
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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