So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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