Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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