Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I died a long time ago.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
