somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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