even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
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Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
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I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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