the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
