Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
