How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Send help, water and tortillas.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
