So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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