Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
