Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
