bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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