I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
