Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize