Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
