I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
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Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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