as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
